Mary Tanis
Founding Director Deborah Charbonnier gives testimony of the sensitive spirit of friendship that professional ice skater Mary Tanis offered Deborah during Deborah’s college years at the University of Maine, Orono campus.
Mary (Larson) Tanis competed in many upper level pairs ice dance events from 1970 – 1975. She was born in 1955 and was about 35 years old when I met her in person. I was 20 years old and it was the winter of 1989/90 when I began teaching skating lessons for the Learn-To-Skate program that was held in Orono, Maine in the Alfond Arena.
I had not been ice-skating since I was eleven years old (prior to stopping I was the novice level of patch and freestyle and had performed in low-level competitions.) My mother kicked me out of the house when I was 17 years old. At age 19 my father encouraged me to start college so at semester breaks for a couple of years I stayed with him--- a.k.a. Jackie.
Mary befriended me during ice skating sessions at the rink and initially my brain couldn’t understand why she looked familiar. Slowly, I got cued into the fact that as a child I had watched her on television doing spectacular pairs ice dance moves. During my college years I performed in a handful of ice-skating events in the Bangor, Maine area, alongside Mary and I had so much fun. Once, Mary drove me and a couple of other college students over to an ice rink in Waterville, Maine for an exhibition. (click here to view video)
During my college years I was barely in touch with my immediate family members and Mary filled in the gap many times. For instance, she drove me to the Cutler Health Center, when I needed help once. It was only the night before this ride to the health center that Mary revealed to me the fact that she was undergoing intense treatment for breast cancer. I could not believe that she was dealing with such a serious health issue.
After college graduation, I left the Bangor area in the spring of 1993 and I never made any attempt to stay in touch with Mary. When she passed away in 1995, I was not informed because I was not involved with any ice-skating activities for a stretch of time. I am certain that her family were deeply saddened, and still are missing her today. I wish she knew how sweetly she is remembered by me.
As I look back, I realize that Mary really had been there for me as a friend and I regret not properly expressing to her that her friendship was so helpful to me. Mary was a big part of my college experience even though I never let her know it at the time.
I hope all who read about my adventurers with Mary will understand the value of being a friend who will stand in the gap and reach out. I urge people to be vibrant as Mary was and give help to people in your community when you can. (Mary was vibrant even in her medical situation.) The fruits of such efforts might never be seen by the giver, but I hope that this story is evidence that the fruits are real.
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